Bright Advice #3: Learn to forgive

When it comes to forgiveness, many people seem to suck in this area. Excuse me. Many people tend to say "Well ya I forgive them, but I'm just holding a grudge." What's the point of holding a grudge? It not only causes you grief and misery, but also it surely does not mend any relations anytime soon. Everyone makes mistakes. YOU and I both, make mistakes on the regular , so why not show a little more compassion when others do. As long as the other party is sincerely sorry for whatever wrong-doing, learning to forgive is one of the best characteristics to build. To be constantly heated is a horrible feeling, and through forgiving comes a new refreshing easing sensation to the mind - not to mention the path to healing relationships.

4 Goal planning tips for the New Years.

Look back on 2010. For those who did make resolutions, how well did that go? To be honest, don’t even bother with resolutions. When February rolls around – no matter how strong our determination might have been – a lot of our old habits and routines return and we’re back to step one.

Rather for the upcoming New Year, dish the unplanned goals, and stick to these 4 tips that just might make 2011 a little bit more rewarding:

1. Be true to yourself on what you want. First off, if you do not show much interest or have much desire for achieving your goals, then most likely it’s not something you will accomplish. Your goals should be something you know will benefit you in the long run and is worth your time to strive and get done. Determine the goals you must work on, rather than setting goals you think you should do.

2. Think the big picture. Many people don’t dream big enough. Personally, growing up as a kid, I too, sought for big aspirations and I knew what I wanted. As soon as this picture was embedded into my "life" blueprint, I searched for the pieces to drive me to my destination. Ask yourself this: “If you failure was not an option, what would you want to do?” Go from there.

3. Learn to use a planner and get organized. Time seems to go by fairly fast, while days feel a little longer. Wouldn’t you agree? In the same way, bigger goals can seem more intimidating, but smaller goals can seem pretty easy. In your "life" blueprint, piece together small goals to help reach your final and true aspirations. For instance, say you’re seeking for a new position at work; begin by marking in your planner tasks you need to achieve till then – small goals such as completing your resume, sending your resume out, wait for their reply or follow-up. It’s always easier to follow steps then improvising along the way. Trust me.

4. Seek help when you need it. People tend to get shy and not speak up. There is so much to learn and know in this world, how could you possibly learn it all? Most of us have so many resources at our fingertips that don’t realize it. Many inexpensive books and tools can help you with setting your goals and getting you started – Make Success Measurable! By Douglas K. Smith. Don’t be scared to get your questions answered. Once you know what you want to do and learn how to accomplish it, map it out. Your dreams are only a few small goals ahead.

Happy New Years everyone. Out with the old, in with the new. Have a great one and drink responsibly.

Bright Advice #2: Meditate - Only 20 minutes a day

One of the best things in life that I believe is taken granted for, is the beauty of silence. Nowadays, in a world filled with technology – TV, internet, mobiles devices – people tend to over look the simple aspects of life. I really encourage everyone to try and meditate for at least 20 minutes a day. Meditating allows not only for your body to relax, but your mind as well. Simply just find a nice area where no one will bother you, have a seat (yes sit! this is not nap time), and begin by centering your thoughts on your breathing control. Don’t let your mind wander, but rather keep it very clear. At first, this might seem difficult, if not lame, however once you learn how to do it; you will love how you feel after meditating. The feeling following post-meditation is a sensation that words can only express so far. Those 20 minutes you spend will pass by quickly and the feeling after is just wonderful. With a very clear head and your body at ease, this is a “body-reset” if you will. The only way to know what I'm talking about is try and see how you like it. Need help keeping your mind clear during meditation?

See Meditation Consciousness.

Bright Advice #1: Don't burn bridges

I just came up with a bright new idea. Ha, no pun intended.  Every day I will post a helpful tip/advice to help make life just that much easier for you. Man, I’m just too kind sometimes.

Maintain ties with others

Even if you think you are never seeing the other person ever again, keep the friendship and tie. For instance, if you were about to quit your job, it’d be in your best interest to not let off steam on your boss. You never know when you might bump into him later on in life or need a reference, then wishing you did not burn that bridge. Life has a lot to do with building connections and reputations - at any time you might seek assistance from someone you knew before in the past. Given, there already is a lot of hate and violence that really is not needed in this world. So there is no need to show those sides to those around you.

Have you ever wondered how others see you?

Do you ever just wonder how others view you? What they think about you? If I were to ask one of your friends, family members, or even co-workers, what they honestly thought about you, how would they answer?

Often people are likely to portray themselves way differently then how others perceive them. However, we have a natural inclination to just assume that other people see things the exact same way as we do – but this is not the case.

At times it can widen one’s perspective when we try to evaluate ourselves from a “third person” point of view. There are 7 key aspects to everyone’s life that are worth viewing from a friend’s viewpoint.

1. Emotionally: The value of every single one of your relationships – whether friends, family, acquaintances – are all affected by the emotional interaction you make with them. Although you may see yourself as sweet and sincere, but do others really feel the same way that you do?

Ask yourself these 3 questions:
     a. After being with others, are they emotionally empowered by me, or have I left them with a different feeling?
     b. Do others enjoy spending time with me, or do they try to respectfully avoid it whenever possible?
     c. Do I like surrounding myself with those that treat me the same way as I treat them?

Are you comfortable with your 3 answers? Now, find someone whom you are close to and listen to their replies. This is not something easy to do; however, the answers can be eye-opening.

2. Values: Does your behavior – actions, habits, language – portray the important values in your life? When others observe you, will they state that your values are clearly shown through your actions, and that you are a good role model to follow? The beliefs that we consider important should be evident in our life. Each person’s life is how he/ she back up their say of being an ethical person. Step back and compare what we claim to be and what we appear to be. This process can be enlightening and self-effacing.

3. Physically: Ok, everybody knows that staying fit is a challenging task, regardless to say, when we get older, it’s only going to get more difficult. With that in mind, ask yourself: “Given my current physical stature, what kind of image do I send to others about the value I place in my own physical conditions?” Note that I did not mention anything about a few extra pounds, or any other particulars you may have. What’s being asked is regarding the respect you have for your own image. Is your image something others can follow as well?

4. Materially: How would others answer about your outlook on money and materialistic things? Where do your views and priorities stand? Are the people in your life more or less important than money? How much money is enough money? This has nothing to do with your financial plans in the future, but rather what impressions you give others via your attitude towards money/ materialistic things.

5. Reasonableness: While engaging in discussions with others, how do you make them feel? Do they get a sense that you are a reasonable person? When things don’t go exactly your way, do you maintain composure? When others dispute your opinions, do they still acknowledge your reasoning being understanding and reasonable? By far, there are too many unreasonable people on this planet. Thus, we should all want to be revered as “The Voice of Reason.”

6. Intellectually: This is not about how smart you are or where you graduated, but the outlook you have on continued learning. Are you someone who appreciates learning new things and making personal improvements? Do others see you as someone who values knowledge from different fields? Learning is trait that provides help to others and also brings meaning to our lives. Learn to love knowledge.

7. Practicality: Do you see the practical value of the six points stated above? To succeed in this life we must learn to integrate all our talents, gifts, and resources. To be sensible and realistic are qualities that makes everything real. Being practical will be the foundation of your life through all the ups and downs that are to come. “Practical wisdom is real wisdom.”

Now seriously consider how others will see you for each section. If any reason you are not satisfied with your findings, then you know what you must improve on. Yea, you might feel a bit discouraged, but once you realize the things you need to work on, there will only be progress from here on out.

On second thought, why should you even care what others think about you? To be real, that’s not even what is important about this article. The main reason is to help you see yourself in a different light. If you care if others see you as nice, sociable, reputable, and other positive traits, then it sure does help to try and see ourselves from their perspective. But in the end, it’s not even for them, it’s for bettering yourself.

Decide and Move On

Our brains have way of creating a synthesized happiness when we don't get what we want - it's often difficult for us to make a "wrong" choice. Thus, it's just better to decide on something and move on.

In this video from ZeFrank, he discusses about how our brains can not tell the difference between synthesized and actual euphoria. Even when we make the "wrong" choice, our minds find a way to make us feel as if that choice was ultimately in our best interest; to the brain, this feeling created shows no difference than actual happiness.

We often are horrible at predicting how we are going to feel later on, so when time is spent figuring out what to do over a simple matter, it is actually just wasted efforts. Even though waiting for the right opportune time to make a choice is important, when it comes down to small decisions in our daily lives, it is better for us to pick something and continue on. In the end, we're happy with either decisions so long that we don't have to waste any more time in our life pondering over petty things.

10 Tips for a Better Life

Lifehacker
Let's be honest, we all want more in life. We want more money, more freedom, more peace, and more time. In a perfect world, we would have all these things and more, but that's just not how it happens.

Life has a way of becoming filled with "stuff". We don't have more money because we are stuck in a job that doesn't pay well, we don't have more freedom because we have to work 60 hours each week, we don't have more peace because our lives are in turmoil, and we never seem to have enough time to get it all done!

For those people out there (I'd like to believe that there are at least a few) who are enjoying the quality of life that we all want, I am honestly jealous. Like millions of Americans, the chronic stresses of life have taken their toll on me and I struggle each day to keep myself afloat.

I know there is a better way to live; we just aren't doing it! If we can get over the day to day grind, focus on what is important, and truly think of each day we have as a gift, then I think we have a chance to live a better life.

However, many obstacles get in our way each day and slow us down or stop us from having what we want in our lives. Here are 10 things that need to change in order for us to live on our own terms:

1. Our miserable, detestable, deplorable jobs
   If you love your job, great news. If you're like the other 95% of the population, then it sucks. Our jobs, although we may only be there for 40 hours a week, can feel like a life-without-parole prison sentence. Like with prison, we feel trapped, hopeless, and doomed to a life we don't want. Get out before it's too late (easier said than done).
2. Family stress
   Having children is a true blessing and is the most wonderful thing in the world, but can also be (and usually is) the cause of an enormous amount of stress. Kidnapping, pedophiles, traffic accidents, injuries, and home invasions are all major concerns for any parent, but it's the whining, disrespectful behavior, tantrums, hitting, and lack of sleep that really gets to us. I have yet to figure out how to have a peaceful household and therefore can offer no insight to this at all. If you have any suggestions, please, please let me know.
3. Being apathetic
   So many people have seemingly given up on ever having the life they want. Life truly wears them down and out and there is nothing but a shell of a person left. This is unbelievably sad but all too common. These folks are just going through the motions of life without any real direction, passion, or interest. Don't be this person; there is always room for change.
4. Being ordinary
   The world needs more leaders, out of the box thinkers, action seekers, risk takers, and passionate people. What the world does not need is another average Joe living paycheck to paycheck. Stand out, be different, create something great, do something inspiring, just try something.
5. No direction
   With no goals or dreams, how can we expect to achieve anything significant? We can't. Dream big and get big results. Dream small and get small results. Don't dream at all and get nothing.
6. Not having passion for something
   When someone can find their real passion in life, that should be a momentousness event for them. Many people will go through their whole life without ever realizing what it is that gets their heart pumping, mind racing, and juices flowing. If you are someone who has found a true passion, live it every day, for that's why we are all here.
7. Being selfish
   Giving something of yourself without the desire for anything in return is one of the most beautiful things in the world. Our society has taught us a "what do I get out of this" mentality which is breeding a generation of 'takers'. What we need more of is people who truly understand the power behind selflessness. It really has the power to change the world for the better.
8. Not having a release
   With the constant stresses life places on us, we all need a release. Finding a hobby, activity, or interest can be a life saver. Take up tennis, join a local business group, or learn another language. Without a release, life will almost assuredly bring you down. The human mind and body can only take so much before it breaks down, so doing some 'maintenance' is essential to keeping yourself well.
9. Not bettering yourself
   Life is about growing, learning, and being a better person. Never trying to improve yourself is a guaranteed path to living a completely average life. Can anyone honestly say they want an average life? Of course not. There are a million things you can do to make yourself a better person, you just need to figure out what will do it for you.
10. Being empty inside
    If you are walking around feeling like there is something missing in your life, you are far from being alone. Sadly, many people will spend their lives feeling this way. Some fill this void with religion, some fill it by having children, and some even fill it with drugs or alcohol. Find out what completes you and you will have a much more fulfilling and worthwhile life.

Just remember, life does not need to be a chore. It doesn't even need to be difficult, but we are choosing to make it so every day. Make the choice today to change something in your life to improve it. I know I am.

Take More Daydreaming Breaks to Improve Your Focus

We often try to get a lot done from day to day, trying to fight the urge to relax and daydream because we see it as wasting time. With new studies, research show that daydreaming can effectively improve better thought process.

Everybody knows that working without any  breaks can burn us out. Now new research studies show that one of the best ways to spend your breaks  is to actually allow your mind to just wander:

[There is] some interesting new research on the link between resting state activity - the performance of the brain when it's lying still in a brain scanner, doing nothing but daydreaming - and general intelligence. It turns out that cultivating an active idle mind, or teaching yourself how to daydream effectively, might actually encourage the sort of long-range neural connections that make us smart.

While focus is important, it can be easy to get a case of writer's block; where trying to focus harder only leads to making things harder to get done. If this were to ever happen, step back and move away from your work and think about something not related to work at all. While you're at it, also begin a small work out routine - a lot of us usually daydream anyways when we exercise, plus it relaxes you once your endorphins get pumping. When doing this, make sure you are aware that you are daydreaming and not crossing the line into wasting time. To read on:

Intelligence and the Idle Mind [ScienceBlogs via Postbox Blog]

Matt of Mokena, IL

Matt of Mokena, IL writes:
To be honest, I have no idea who will read this but here.. Merry Christmas and good luck to your blog. I just don't let things get me down. There are so many good things in life, so much to be happy about. When something bad happens, it's just a short term thing, and there is always something else to take your mind off it. Books and nature are great ways to back off for a while and think, which is something everyone needs to do. Also, listening to others and helping them is a big thing, because they can help you in return. A person always needs at least one other human to go to. A lot of people like to talk to me about their lives because I listen well. So, look on the bright side, because I came from a very dark point in my life about two years ago, and got to a happy life all on my own, without medication.

-- Merry Christmas and thank you Matt for writing :] And you're right, it's always easier to overcome situations with another person. Instead of carrying all the burden on one's own shoulder; friends, family, or even myself, can help relieve the weight of stress. There's really no reason to stress and sit there and worry. Sitting there won't accomplish much when things need to get done. But how is one suppose to concentrate when stress levels are out the roof? Just BE CALM. It will make life a lot easier. As Matt said, reading and hiking are good ways to clear one's mind and put them at ease before buckling down to achieve a task. Keep your goals clearly in your mind while being mentally efficient and logical to attack any objectives to come your way. This is only possible if you have a clear mind and focus at what is at hand.

Start of a Bright New Day

Peppermint white mochas, Christmas lights, the holiday spirit - I just love Christmas time. No matter where one goes, all the love and spirit can only make one smile. Take the time to be with loved ones and let them know your appreciation. Life can be fragile, and the ups and downs of life can never be predicted. Each person is given one life, so make this one as fun-filled and optimistic as possible. No one likes to worry and stress over issues of life, let alone attacking these predicaments on one's own.

Although I am just one person, it is always nice to have a second opinion, wouldn't you agree? Personally, when predicaments come up, my mind wanders in all possible directions; solutions are not as clear and evident as I'd like. From me to you - ask anything you'd like and I will provide you with best possible scenario. No matter how dark the problem may be; there is always a brighter side.

Care to share one of your own positive insights?  Never know - Your story could brightens someone's day.

Merry Christmas everyone. 

Ask away: Ask.Mr.Brightside@gmail.com